While depression was described as a problem seen only in adults, recent reseaches have shown that it can also occur in infants and children. They have adaptation problems on dependency of children on parents due to low capacity to solve problems. Having a language capacity in children not as good as adults requires behaviours to be observed well.
Improve your communication with your daughter before adoloscence!
As it is seen, no matter how closely mother tries to approach to daughter she gets no result and arguements with the girl do not end. Reason of it is that this period is to critical and also there can be accumulated problems between parents and children.
Thus, before your child starts adoloscence period, your having communication and solution of the problems plays a big role on your solving the problems and having a good communication with your child before he or she is in her or his adoloscence. Because teenager has complicated feelings, conflicts which are under pressure may occur. When all the problems which you experienced in the past occur, walls between you and teenager get stronger and they become more indestructable. My first advice is your getting support from a professional pedagogue before adoloscence and successing a healthy communication with your child.
If your daughter is a teenager what can you do?
It will be hard for both for the parents and for the parents if she has started adolescence. Because during adoloscence, while feelings of child is fluctuating, communication between parents and child should be improved.
As each child and each family has a different dynamic, each child will experience problems of te period in a different way. During this period parents play a big role. First of all do not be a parent who bans.
For example your daughter may want her hair cut, wear different clothes or hair style. Let her try even for once within your control the things your daughter has wanted. Your limiting her increases her interest in the things she wants more and causes her to disobey you. For example during this period what they most want is plucking eyebrows. Let her do it once and she will see whether it is good on her or not. Another matter is too much make-up. Let her do make up and go out. After a while this desire will pass.
Instead of saying to your daughter ‘ do not do this, do not do that’ it is right to behave more positively by explaining the reasons of the subject on which you say no. Do not start arguements and do not get adverse with your daughter. Your arguement may cause her to speak slang and become disrespectful. If you lose respect between each other, it will be hard to form it again.
Let her go out with her friends. During this period, friends are more important than family. Teenager wants to spend time with her friends. She becomes over protective, if you do not allow her, you will have more arguements with her and she has to tell a lie to you. As long as there is trust between you and her, and you know where she goes with her friends, there is no bad thing for her to roam with friends.
Problems mostly seen in our children
- Exam worry
- Social phobia
- Aggressiveness
- Failure at lessons
- Distraction
- Introversion
- Habit of eating nails
Get psychological support in order to improve your communication and to pass this period healthily!
Despite all your trials and understanding, if you can not have communication with your daughter, you need to get support from a professional pedagogue. If you do not get support, conflict with her will get bigger and daughter tries to find happiness she can’t find in family tries to find it in others. During this period, friends become more important than family. For child not to have wrong friends, child needs to have a very good communication. This responsiblity of communication development belongs to the parents.
With the wish of communication improvement with your daughter .
Psychologist Romina GASIMZADE
Child& Teenager Psychology Expert, Psychological Advisor